Friday, August 21, 2009

Gnothi Seauton

Gnothi Seauton is an ancient Greek saying that was carved in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. It means “know thyself”. I believe that I know myself pretty well. I know what kinds of things I can and can’t tolerate, how much effort I’m willing to put into certain activities, what my endurance level is. I also know that whenever I try to go against what I know about myself, whether in a misguided attempt to improve my self-discipline, teach myself a new skill, or meet what I think are someone else’s expectations, it will end in tears. If I ever doubt that again, I want you to remind me about this post, mm kay?

Remember when I introduced the series I wanted to do? Garden Divas, right? I mentioned that I was surprised I decided to start a series, because I’m pretty ADD easily distracted. Well, guess what?!?

Ugh. I was forcing myself to work on that dumb thing again yesterday, and I began to think about why this one is such a problem for me. I think it’s coming together exactly the way I expected it to. It’s not crazy complicated, it’s not huge, I like the way it looks so far. So why do I have to “force” myself to work on it? I was wondering how long ago I started it, thinking it was probably May, and I’ve accomplished a lot since May. (Even if little of it was working on this!) So maybe I was being unreasonably harsh on myself. BUT IT WAS MARCH!!!

And I even mentioned in the original post that I didn’t expect myself to be able to stick with a series past about 1 1/2 pieces. I’m so annoyed I can’t even finish one! But I told myself in March that100_2757 it was unreasonable to expect this (even if the language was phrased to make me think otherwise). And now I wonder if the reason I don’t want to work on this one is that even when I finish it, it won’t feel finished because there’s another one like it waiting in the wings. So….Garden Diva I has just been orphaned. There will be no more. And as funny as it seems – I took a break while writing this and finished the petals. All I need to do now is the background. :)

Gnothi Seauton indeed.

2 comments:

  1. Lovely work! I usually need a deadline to keep me going on the art stuff or it can drag on for a long time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Eric! I guess I need some sort of structure, but deadlines tend to give me panic attacks, even when they're reasonable. It's just the rebellious 4 yr old inside me, I guess :)

    ReplyDelete

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