I’ve heard that all my life. Maybe artists are more likely to find some sort of personal stake in situations that really aren’t about them. Maybe the personal identification with situations, geographies, people is part of the source of the creativity – defining that connection for others to see/hear/experience. Or maybe it was just me. I’ve worked really hard as an adult to stop putting myself at the center of the universe. But there is a flip side to that. It comes with the risk of always putting someone else there. Anyone else. Finding that balance is tricky.
I was told once by a fellow Libran that although the search for balance is key to ‘being’ a Libra, they will more often be swinging wildly from one extreme to the other. I was never much into Astrology, but sometimes a statement like that just sticks with you. And I think it speaks to the ordeal of trying to balance your own needs with those of others in your life. And it makes you wonder in every situation where you sense a tension “am I looking at this from too personal a vantage point?”
But then there are times when you know someone is not being ‘real’ with you. When their words say one thing, but their tone says something different. When the difference between the two is important. I still can’t cope with that. I think I will never be able to cope with that.
I was once called '”painfully honest” by a former boss. I considered that a compliment. But as my mother used to say, “There is a difference between being honest, and telling everything you know”. I think I have managed to incorporate that adage into my interpersonal relations, but somehow there is a truth that isn’t addressed by that statement. There are times when the choice is not simply between expressing your opinion and keeping you mouth shut. I can’t find any rules for those situations.
The older I get, the more often I find myself out of patience with the game-playing, the conversational dance around a bottomless pit. A flawless pas de deux lets you live to dance another day, a false step sends you into oblivion. Why would a person ‘beat around the bush’ and therefore risk not making their point understood? Why am I being asked to ‘read between the lines’ of situations that I am not involved in, and therefore can’t fully understand until you tell me? I am out of patience with answering questions forthrightly, participating in conversations without guile, and then feeling as if I am smacked in the face by someone who feels certain it can’t be as simple as that. Yes, it can. And you know what? The world would be a gentler place if we could all just be honest.